Finding Faith

The bride was stunningly beautiful, so much so that the groom who stood beside me burst into tears as she came down the aisle arm-in-arm with her father. To experience the pure innocence and rawness of that emotional outpouring is a privilege, a sacred meeting place where the soul touches the awesomeness of God. 

But from there, it went quickly downhill. I’m sure no one noticed but me. The vows were exchanged without a hitch; the music was on-point; the church decorated in cascades of roses. But there was something more troubling for me: of the 75 or so guests, not one responded. No “and with your spirit” (or even “and also with you”). No engagement with the liturgy. One man brought a Wawa coffee to his pew. Another stayed on his phone as the Eucharistic consecration was taking place. And when it came time for Communion, not a single soul minus the newlywed’s parents came forward. Two Catholic families, and no one came to receive Christ.

“But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

It sounds like I am judging; I really am not. But I am sad. Sad, I suppose, that we’ve reached such a point that for so many Christians, Christ means nothing. Prayer is forgotten. The Sacraments rendered meaningless. The Church is filled with abusive priests, hypocritical parishioners, and oppressive rules – at least that’s the narrative that frequently plays in our secular world. Your children and grandchildren, our family members and closest friends, even a majority of the baptized never consider Church as vital to their lived experience.

And thus the question: what are we to do? How do we bring souls back into a meaningful, authentic relationship with Christ; how do we pray for them (and our own concerns) without becoming weary?

The answer is found in today’s Gospel, but not in the way we might have traditionally interpreted it in times past. For me, I usually walked away from hearing this advice from Jesus with the lesson: Nag God until He gives in. After all, if God is the judge of the parable who seemed unwilling to respond to a widow’s plea -- and then only does so after recognizing He’s tired of hearing her constant requests – no wonder so many of us approach our relationship with the Lord as one based on pleading, frustration, and “wishes” granted for a grumpy, unwilling Genie in the sky.

And when the “Genie” doesn’t answer in a timely way – or a way that satisfies us – we walk away. Church and sacraments become meaningless. We drift into a world where Wawa coffee and gum-chewing at Mass is fine, and so is doom scrolling during Consecration.

But notice again what Jesus tells his disciples: “Pay attention to what the dishonest judge says.” So, what does he actually say?

Firstly, the judge makes it clear that he neither fears God nor respects any human being. The key to living a life of authentic faith is rooted in the very thing the dishonest judge is failing to do. “Love the Lord with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself.” When one lives in a self-centered world, there is no healthy awe/respect of God, nor does it matter about the people around us. In a word, the judge stopped caring. All that mattered was his own needs, wants and desires. Living from a place of selfishness keeps us from authentically loving and being loved.

It also affects how we view prayer. One who lives from a place of self-centeredness sees prayer as a childish wish-list that deserves to be answered in the way and time one expects it. And thus, like a spoiled child, we nag God until He acts favorably toward us, or we stop communicating all together with Him when we don’t get what we want.

But that’s not true prayer. Prayer is never meant to change God’s mind; He knows what it best for us while maintaining respect for our free will. What a genuine prayer relationship is supposed to do is open our hearts and lives to living God’s will, trusting that He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. We shouldn’t feel as though we are “nagging” God – that’s not what love does. But we should be constant and persistent in our connection with the One who wants to be in relationship with us.

Thus, the third piece of paying attention to the unjust judge. That man didn’t care that a widow was in need; he forgot that his responsibility was to care for the ones who need an advocate and provider. God, on the other hand, wants our hearts, our fears, our sins and our anxieties. His love sees us as beloved children who need Him and want Him to care and provide for us as we expect our parents to do. When we come to Him sincerely, no request is seen as a “nag.” It is received and transformed and answered in the way that God knows best. He is always just and merciful in answering our needs. Do we believe that?

As I thought about the wedding attendees at Mass the other day, I can’t help but think that somewhere along the way they lost the relationship that comes from authentic prayer. They drifted from or abandoned the love connection that comes when two hearts – mine and His – are united in doing God’s will, even when it involves carrying a cross.

It wasn’t the time that day, but I so wanted to cry out at the wedding Mass as Paul did in his second letter to Timothy: be faithful to what you have learned. Don’t give up on God. Even when it seems dry or God appears silent; when Mass seems boring and the homilies dull; when there are a hundred other things on your “to-do” list that Sunday (or every day), don’t walk away from prayer. Don’t stop seeking a true relationship with the Lord in His Word, His Church and in others. Be persistent in your approach to prayer, as you would any other discipline that matters to you. Why do we make sure we catch every Eagles or Orioles game, but not make time for Sunday Liturgy? Why are we committed to daily workouts but not daily Mass or 20-minutes of prayer at home? We make time for what matters. We persevere with what’s most important.

Is a relationship with God that important? If not, why not?

This, then, is the question Christ is really asking when he challenged his disciples to pay attention to what the unjust judge proclaimed. If we don’t fear God or respect others, faith withers. If everything is seen as a “bother” to our selfish ways, then we remain stagnant in heart. And if we aren’t willing to lift up our brothers and sisters who are weary on the journey as Aaron and Hur did for Moses, then we never really learned to pray or grow in genuine, loving relationship. 



My hope, my prayer that day when a beautiful bride vowed her life to her loving husband is that some spark of grace from the Mass awakened the souls of the ones distracted by coffee cups and cell phones, inviting them to begin again a relationship with the living God who loves them all the way to Calvary, never seeing us as nagging brats but as children in need of and in love with our Creator.