Have to Say I Love You in a Song
Trinity Homily – Have to Say I Love You in a Song
Only days before the Elkton Walmart was set on fire (how’s that for a homily-starter!), I ran into the big box retailer to pick-up a book of crossword puzzles for my Mom as part of her Mother’s Day gift. On display near the magazines was a leather-bound journal that caught my eye: All About Me Before I Go. (That may not have been the exact title, but it’s close …)
Flipping through the pages of said book, I discovered it’s a diary of sorts for someone in the sunset of his or her life to reflect on the past journey, to leave a keepsake of memories for one’s children and grandchildren, and to be a conversation starter among loved ones in the time that is remaining.
The particular page that caught my eye was entitled: “My Life in Three Songs.” Below the flowery-script of that headline was space to write the titles of popular songs that capture a particular moment in that person’s life, and why the song mattered to him or her. There were the “When I was a Teen” favorite song section; the “Song that Reminds Me of Being Your Parent” category; and the “You’d be Surprised” song that one could reveal a side of herself that her family would not have known.
All of which made me think of my Mom: we had the radio on quite often in our house when I was growing-up, usually turned to the soft-rock station out of Philadelphia. I don’t ever remember her singing along with the songs as they played, except one: Dusty Springfield’s “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me,” which was a huge hit back when my Mom was graduating high school and soon thereafter began dating my Dad. It is a song that captures a mysterious past – a part of my Mom that I will never fully know. Why does THAT song have meaning? Is there a clue in the lyrics? Did she slow-dance to this song with my father on a first-date? “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” captures the hidden part of my mom’s life, but still reveals something powerful about who she was and who she is.
In my own childhood, my Mom loved Ann Murray’s “You Needed Me,” and this song always seemed to be playing on the radio when Mom was preparing dinner or picking me up from kindergarten in our big AMC station wagon. For me, it’s the song I will forever associate with her, especially with the lyrics that capture a love that is tangible and genuine: “I cried a tear, you wiped it dry. I was confused, you cleared my mind. I sold my soul; you bought it back for me and held me up and gave me dignity …”
Lastly, the song of surprise, and it makes me laugh every time I think about it: About ten years ago now, I was the driver, and my mom the passenger. I don’t know where we were going, but I do remember having a Top-40 station on in the car, and a Lady Gaga song started playing. I hated it, to be honest. It was loud, annoying and somewhat ridiculous, and so I reached over to change the channel. “No, I like this song,” my Mom said, lightly slapping my hand away from the radio know. “Lady Gaga is really good.” All the while, I am thinking: how does my Mom even know who Lady Gaga is?!!
Three distinct songs: one Mom.
Not exactly the best way to describe Trinity Sunday, but then again: how do we, in fact, explain Trinity?
The story is told of famous convert and scholar St. Augustine of Hippo who once had a supposedly true encounter with a young child whom he saw taking ocean water in a clam shell and trying to fill a small hole he had dug in the sand. When Augustine asked the boy what he was doing, the child responded: “I am going to pour the entire ocean into this hole.”
“That’s impossible, my dear son,” said Augustine. “The sea is so great and the shell you use and the hole you dug are so little.” To which the boy replied: “That’s true. And it would be easier to draw all the water out of the ocean and fit it in this hole than for you, Augustine, to fit the mystery of the Trinity into your little intellect.”
So, if Augustine can’t do it, don’t expect much out of me.(haha!)
But there’s something about this Song-Memory journal that is, at the very least, revealing something that is at the very heart of living in the Trinity: it’s ultimately about relationship and loveworking together.
The Greeks have a beautiful term for this love relationship of giving-and-receiving; of pouring-out and being poured-into: perichoresis. It’s where our word “choreography” comes from: to dance with each other in a circle of indwelling. As they see it: picture in your mind the embrace of dancers as they glide across the floor: distinct bodies moving as one; giving and receiving, moving in step and time with one another, effortlessly and with complete unity. For the Greeks, this image helps capture the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit dancing in relationship with one another and inviting us into that circle – the perichoresis.
They are distinct persons but One. Their love flows to and from one another, and spills out to us. “For God so loved the world that He sent His only Begotten Son …” How blessed we are to be a part of that relationship.
Every time we make the Sign of the Cross, we are invited into that relationship.
When we receive Christ present in the Holy Eucharist, we also receive the love of the Father for us and the gift of their Spirit at work in us.
When we are in prayer with the Lord – no matter whether we are in conversation with the Father, Son or Spirit – all are invited into that dance of speaking and listening.
When we act in the name of Christ or when the Spirit is called upon for wisdom, the Father is present there, too.
All of this is the Eternal Oneness of the Three Persons of God, equal in divinity and distinct in identity. The Father is not the Son, and the Spirit is not the Father. But their love and communion brings about an incredible dance, a holy relationship – one that brings each of us onto the dancefloor, and my goodness: what an amazing choreography that becomes.
When all is said and done, Trinity Sunday is about living a relationship of Love with the Father, Son and Spirit that directs the song that is played in our own lives. It should be part mystery and concrete tangibility moving together. It should inspire us to act and also draw us into greater contemplation. It is a Love that makes us want to be loved and offer love to those around us. It is grace at work, and oh – what a melody is played when it happens.
Or, as that 3-Song Journal Entry revealed to my heart: it’s a soundtrack of a life of love lived to its fullness: Mystery, Loving Presence and Awesome Surprise – three in one.
Three Songs, one Mom. But, really, Mom: Lady Gaga?!!