No One Ever Told Me

“No one ever told me.”

From the other side of the Confessional screen at a parish not in this diocese, these were the words I heard and will never forget:

“No one ever told me that what I was doing was destroying bothmyself and other people.”

What was it that this gentleman was doing?

He had spent decades looking at images that caused his heart to harden … that turned women into nothing but objects to be used by him … that made him live-out love in a very broken way.

He was addicted to pornography, and he lived his daily life in a haze of lust. 

When he was a teen, his father never saw a problem with it or told him of its dangers. Neither did Hollywood or Heffner or the Internet.

And yet, Jesus was very clear in today’s Gospel, and it’s a side of Christ we don’t often see – the One who makes it clear that He calls us to a higher-standard:

“Everyone who looks at another person with lust has already committed adultery in his or her heart.”

Any time any of us turns another person into an object to be used to our own advantage or for our own pleasure, we need to re-examine how we are travelling through life.

Quite frankly, fallen human nature being what it is – and Satan always being on the prowl – we are all tempted to destroy the inherent goodness and dignity of other human beings.

So if we are lonely or frustrated or stressed, we turn to images that cheapen both the viewer and the ones being viewed. 

If we don’t like where another stands politically, we destroy them on social media.

If we have been slighted by another person, we ignore them … spread gossip about them … refuse to forgive them.  Swear to both God and others that we are right and the other person is wrong without ever really looking at our own inner-motives.

And Christ is reminding us:

You’re better than this.  Please don’t give in to the ways in which the world tells you that you’re free.

Because truth be told, all these “Catholic Church rules” that we hate or complain about?  The rules and commandments that we think are keeping us chained to archaic ways of living?  They aren’t just about NOT doing something so we don’t end up in hell:  (Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal or lie or what have you.)

Rather, they are really calling us to something greater: a greater dignity and a greater freedom that the human person has been created to possess – SO THAT WE DON’T CREATE HELL RIGHT WHERE WE FIND OURSELVES NOW.

God is reminding us: You are greater than the Evil One makes you out to be. You are greater than the negative recording that keeps playing over and over in your heart and mind and soul: that you are no good. That you need to use others to find self-satisfaction. That the only way you win is by putting others down.

When we live this way, hell starts right where we are standing.

Are you … am I … living in a suburb of hell right now by our actions or our words?  Are we purposely fooling ourselves into thinking that we know better than God?

THIS is the wisdom that Paul talks about in his letter to the Corinthians. He calls it a mature wisdom … a wisdom that the Father reveals through the Spirit:

True human dignity is found only when we trust in God and choose to follow His ways, not just our own.

Our Lord and His Church wants us to be truly free, not slaves to our passions, our hatreds and our selfishness.

It will take work, of course. Freedom doesn’t come easily.  But we must not forget that Someone already paid the price for our freedom. Jesus Christ died so that we might truly live.

Live in truth. Love authentically.

That’s really all the Commandments are about. Not to keep us down … but to raise us up to where we are called to be.

If you are stuck right now: if lust or lying or gossip or hate has you heavily-burdened, please don’t think that this is where you have to stay.

Come back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Give your fears and struggles to our Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament today at Mass.  Tell that liar Satan that you are better than he’s trying to make you believe you are.

Never forget: Jesus Christ has already won the battle for us …

All we have to do is keep letting Him lead us to true freedom, and then keep fighting for it.

Christ is THE ONLY WAY to healing and hope for whatever keeps us chained … for whatever keeps us living in a hell of our own making.

Give Him everything this very day, especially the things that keep you from true freedom.  DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! KEEP FIGHTING TO LIVE FREELY!



For now we can no longer say: “No one ever told me.”