The Golden Nugget
12th Sunday of the Ordinary Time – The Golden Nugget
It was the summer of 1984. I had just finished third grade, had a crush on fellow-classmate Renee McLaughlin, and was looking forward to three months of bike-riding, no homework, and playing outside until the street lights flickered on throughout the neighborhood.
That first weekend of freedom, my Dad decided to take me and my cousins to the Jersey Shore for the day. It’s funny how certain moments in one’s life make such lasting memories, and that June Saturday had quite a few: stopping at a diner along the backroads of South Jersey, where we each had a stack of chocolate chip pancakes smothered in whipped cream; blasting the local Top-40 radio station with the windows down (did we even have AC in the car?), singing along to Madonna and Michael Jackson’s latest hits; and waiting on line for an eternity to ride a roller coaster called the Golden Nugget.
Now to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled at the prospects of this adventure, but I certainly didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of my older cousins. They were fearless, and I wanted to be like them. Besides, my Dad told me he’d be beside me and that there was nothing to fear.
He lied.
Well, not entirely – he did stay by my side the entire time, but the ride was hell. To this day I remember sobbing the entire time, from the first plummet and around every sharp bend, through the dark tunnels where things jumped out at us, until the moment our feet were planted solidly back on the boardwalk. Even then, I was still shaking and trying to stifle the sobs while my cousins and father were flushed with adrenalin and happiness. They all wanted to do it again.
At the thoughts of this, I can only imagine the look of horror that washed over my face. To which my Dad, God love him, noticed and then said to all of us: “How about I treat to ice cream?” And taking my shoulder, he steered us to Kohr Brothers, where I drowned my sorrows in vanilla soft-serve and rainbow jimmies.
My father noticed – and to me, that says everything.
Everything that Jesus mentions to his disciples (and us) in the Gospel this morning really reflects the love of a God who notices, Who sees all the things that lie in the deepest recesses of our hearts: the fears and anxieties, the anger and the disappointment.
His first words: “Fear no one.” Fear nothing.
I want to say, “Yeah, right. You’ve never ridden the Golden Nugget, Lord.” And yet, isn’t that amusement ride a perfect analogy? Life does sometimes very much seem like the Nugget – twists and turns, plummets and dark moments, thrills and scares. We wonder if the seatbelt is secure enough; we aren’t quite sure when the next hairpin turn comes or when the ride will end.
But – true to His Word Just as my own father was – He is right beside us the entire time, reminding us: be not afraid. Be not afraid. I never tire of hearing it.
Isn’t it interesting that Christ tells us there is only one thing to be afraid of, and it isn’t those who will persecute and kill us for our faith. We need not fear them. Rather, the only one to fear is the one who can send us to hell. “Be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna.” For the longest time, I thought Jesus was speaking of Satan. It seems logical, right? If Gehenna is another name for “hell,” then the devil is the destroyer.
Except: the devil doesn’t have that kind of power. God did not give Satan the power to destroy body and soul. Satan is a tempter, for sure. He wants nothing more than to destroy our relationship with the Father. But he himself cannot destroy body and soul.
So, the question remains: Who is the destroyer?
God has the power to create life and destroy it; we hear that time after time in the psalms. But when all is said and done, He doesn’t send us to Gehenna. We do. We send ourselves therewhen we fail to live the Gospel and the promises of our Baptism. We send ourselves when we don’t love as we should. We end-up in Gehenna when we choose not to trust God and deny Him as we live our lives. Christ in His Love is reminding us: Hell is the choice we make for ourselves, especially knowing that the Lord suffered, died and rose from the dead so that Gehenna does not become the choice we make.
Thus the question must be asked: as we ride this Golden Nugget of life, what choices are we making? Are they of God? Are they choices of life or death? Are we speaking light into the world, or darkness? Are we choosing faith over fear?
Here again is why I love Jesus as a storyteller and teacher: when talking about trusting His Father, he uses the powerful image of the sparrow to get his point across. In his analogy, he is pointing out the fact that we are much more valuable to God than the sparrows that are sold for Temple sacrifice. I would hope so.
But there’s more to the sparrow than just the coin that comes from the offering. The sparrow really is a beautiful representation of who we are called to be as followers:
Firstly, they are bold. At the birdfeeder that hangs from the deck of my family home, I watch how these little birds fight for their rightful place at the table, so to speak. They are unafraid of the bigger birds and the ones who make a lot of noise. They just hop right in that dish and eat, cardinals be damned.
Secondly, unlike the majestic blue jays and brightly-plumed woodpecker that sometimes visits, the sparrows are not asspooked by sudden movement, at least not in the same skittish way as the others. They aren’t showy. They just do their work quietly and efficiently, hopping along as if they don’t have a care in the world.
Which leads, finally, to this sparrow fact: sparrows are loyal to their home turf. They don’t migrate far, and in many cultures, will allow themselves to be held in the hand of the feeder – once they trust. That’s why the Father notices the littlest sparrow: the humble creatures who quietly go about their business, who don’t make a show of it, who stay loyal and close by, and who can choose to be held in the hand of the Feeder. They choose – as much as birds can – trust over fear.
Perhaps, in the end, it is the same way of saying this: on the Golden Nugget rollercoaster of life, the sparrow knows it is protected, seen and loved by the One who whispers constantly throughout the ride: “I’m right beside you.” And when the tears come and the struggles are heavy, it allows itself to be steered and redirected, comforted and protected by the Father who says, “I’m right here.” I’ll never forsake you. After all, His eye and heart is constantly on His beloved sparrow – and the Golden Nugget rider.